Brussels – Green Zones Management ….. 28July08

Animal Conservation:

Under the patronage of Prince Gaston, 17th in line to the Belgian throne, and in cooperation with the Royal Museum for Central Africa in Tervuren the Zoological Society of Ixelles on 25 July received Commune approval for a project on the selective introduction into Ixelles green zones of wild animals from Africa.

Professor Mavis Lovel, president of the Zoological Society and head of the Natural Sciences Department at Brussels University, told journalists at a press briefing on Saturday morning that this would be very different from traditional animal conservation policies, including zoos and animal parks dominated by walls and fences. This project is about becoming one with nature again and not continuing the separation of humans from nature, she insisted.

Lovel emphasised that the project and the process of animal release would be very carefully and professionally managed; only those types of wild animals would be released in Ixelles parks, woods etc. that did not pose any danger to local residents and their pets. Indeed, the decision on which wild animals have already been chosen, as well as the one on future selections, was made solely by the Society and its team of advisers, including Prince Gaston.

This project will enable people to not only broaden their horizons in terms of coexisting with animals and sharing nature, i.e. thinking beyond rats, pigeons and mosquitoes, but also mentally prepare for the necessary adaptation to the consequences of climate change, which is on our door step, the Professor claimed.

According to schedule, on Saturday evening the first wild animal from Africa was released in the area of the Ixelles ponds. Reports of a first sighting in the very late hours of Sunday reached Planet Lasse today.



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Brussels – Public Order ….. 26July08

Anti-Social Behaviour:

Massive public protests have erupted yesterday across Belgium after the Belgian king accepted the resignation of prime minister Yves Leterme and appointed cardinal Pius Keusniet-Deugniet to lead the federal government until the next federal elections, which will be held in November 2017.

Reason and cause of the widespread protests was the first new law that the new government introduced only hours after they took power. The prime minister, during his first press conference, identified as the main problem of Belgian society, including the political establishment, a lack of moral strength and good public behaviour.

To stem the drift towards ever more anti-social behaviour, Keusniet-Deugniet explained, the new law would make it a federal crime for citizens to challenge the public order by behaving immorally, recklessly, and disrespectfully, which included, above all, all kinds of intimate exchanges. As is the case with fruit beer and crack use, scientific studies have proven that there was a direct link between public kissing and formula one style pornographic nazi orgies, the Cardinal insisted.

Planet Lasse can confirm that the protests, which have been particularly strong in Brussels, have seen the pelting of churches and government buildings with condoms and playboy magazines, the hacking of government websites, and in-disguise public re-acting of scenes from avant-garde films, such as 9 ½ Weeks, Wild Orchid, and Emmanuelle. Protesters told Planet Lasse that their actions would continue to intensify until the law was withdrawn.





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Brussels - Zaventem National Airport ..... 2July08

Arrivals

The spokesman of the government of the Brussels region announced live on TV Brussels yesterday that representatives of the government and Zaventem national airport have agreed to introduce new airport rules to improve the reputation of Belgium as a whole and Brussels in particular.

Brussels has always warmly welcomed visitors, but it was felt that there was nevertheless room for improvement, the spokesman quoted the final report of the task force that had worked out the new rules. Implementing and complying with the new rules will not only make arriving visitors very happy and feel most welcome, but will also result in economic growth and increased employment in the Brussels region.

A first new rule has already been implemented as of 1 July: drivers of private cars, taxis and buses are required to step out of their vehicles when dropping off departing travellers and personally and passionately greet and welcome at least one arriving visitor. Only then are they allowed to get back drive off again. As a minimum arrivals should be kissed on the right cheek. Reminder signs have been put up in relevant locations outside the airport building.

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Brussels - Automobile Clubs ..... 18June08

Sports Utility Vehicles:

The Brussels SUV & 4x4 club My Truck is My Castle, which has been one of the main targets of action by environmental and local residents NGOs concerning the problems of air pollution and climate change last week publicly acknowledged that cars driven by its members may have some sort of environmental and health impact.

The newly elected president of the club told journalists that the club board informed its members that appropriate action was now necessary and that it would come in form of a sticker that will have to be put on the back of members' SUVs and 4x4s. According to membership rules members must comply with such requirements or face exclusion from the club.

The new club rule will teake effect on 1 July, but Planet Lasse can reveal that the club president's SUV already sports the new sticker.

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Brussels - Parking ..... 16June08

Policy Innovation:

The Brussels police authority today made public its opinion on and proposed solution for the infamous problem of lack of parking spaces in Brussels. The objective is to drastically improve the lives and mental states of the fundamentally disillusioned and occasionally even deeply depressed car owners.

A spokeswoman for the authority explained that real-time problems required real-time solutions. Such solutions, she went on to emphasise, needed to be innovative and flexible. In 21st century Brussels a police approach based only on enforcing traditional parking rules was not appropriate and sufficient anymore, nor was the communal one focusing only on areas of paid parking in order to balance the budgets of creche, school, sports and environmental policies.

Journalists were told at an open air press conference organised next to a police logistics building in Ixelles that the police authority recently concluded successfully a pilot project in the Ixelles Commune and had already entered in discussions with other public authorities to evaluate the project results and eventually follow the example of the police authority.

At the end of the press conference pictures of the project were shown to clarify exactly how the police authority was innovatively producing real-time parking solutions. The spokeswoman elaborated that in front of many police buildings pavements were extraordinarily spacious despite not serving any purpose. Therefore car owners would from today onwards be permitted to park on these pavements.

Asked by journalists as to whether this new approach was not condemmed by pedestrians, specifically parents with prams, wheel chair users and elderly people with walking aids and shopping bags on wheels the spokeswoman brushed aside complaints and criticism as unfounded and conservative even from a 20th century perspective adding that technically speaking most of these traffic participants would be on wheels or using wheels and therefore should use the streets and not the pavements.

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Brussels - Sports ..... 2June08

Euro 2008:

Local neighbourhood committees successfully lobbied Ixelles commune authorities in view of the June 2008 European Football Championship that will take place in Austria and Switzerland. After months of petitions and demonstrations by and subsequent discussions and negotiations with committees' representatives the authorities decided to permit small-scale TV screenings on the pavements of Ixelles. Local residents will have to organise the necessary equipment and facilities.

A spokeswoman for one of the neighbourhood committees expressed her delight emphasising that this was a great day for Ixelles, because locals will now have not only the chance to enjoy Euro 2008 in open-air style but also another formidable possibility to prove wrong all those many critics, pessimists, and fatalists that constantly and falsely claim that Brussels communes and neighbourhoods are not much more than grey and dirty places of wasteland-like anonymity, die-hard egoism, and pure darwinism. Instead, the football screenings will be joyful fiestas showing that Ixelles neighbourhoods are tight webs of togetherness, friendliness, and mutual respect and support. The committees started making plans 7 months ago, she added, and have already begun setting up fully-equipped screening areas.

Planet Lasse was invited to visit and test some of these and was impressed: in addition to TV sets also sofas, mattresses, and big fridges with chilled drinks have been provided for.

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Brussels – Traffic Rules ….. 30May08

Zebra crossings:

The Brussels police authority, which is widely known and highly regarded for not only its ambitious and strict enforcement of traffic rules, but also 100% compliance by its own force, announced on the 30th of May a further step to reduce traffic accidents and thus improve road safety. In the presence of the Brussels traffic minister the director of the authority explained at a brief press conference that as of 2 June car drivers are required to park on and block access to zebra crossings.

An additional 150 traffic police will patrol the streets of Brussels. Car drivers that use a free parking space that is less than 500 meter away from an unblocked crossing can be fined up to € 800. A spokesperson for the authority clarified afterwards that both policy-makers and the policy force were unanimous in their verdict that existing rules have failed to significantly reduce reckless behaviour by pedestrians, particularly parents with prams, children, wheel chair users and elderly people, and that therefore, unfortunately, car drivers needed to be legislated too.

Only last year a law was introduced to prevent pedestrians from crossing the street immediately after the relevant traffic light jumps from red to green. Instead, pedestrians are required to wait for a further twenty seconds to allow car drivers to drive through the red light when in a hurry, feeling stressed, or testing car performance. There have been many occasions where enforcing police officers were mocked and pelted with, for example, baby food bottles and dirty diapers or even attacked by lap dogs belonging to pensioners. This pedestrians specific law, the spokesperson insisted, has been almost as widely broken as the 2001 first zebra crossing law, which also targets pedestrians by forbidding them to use such a crossing if a car can be seen approaching, either from near-by or a great distance.

The spokesperson concluded by saying that the policy authority had great faith in the cooperation from car drivers. Based on evidence obtained from all across Brussels Planet Lasse can confirm that one day before the law will enter into force car drivers' commitment, and cooperation and thus compliance, impressively led by Ixelles commune employees on duty, is already exemplary.

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